In light of my recent conversation with my mother, there’s something else that has been bothering me, and I’m worried about how she will react. “Hilda?”
I watch as she slips on her shoes and refreshens her lipstick in a nearby mirror.
“I doubt my father knows about us other than we are roommates.”
“Zo? He vill know zoon.”
“I want to be fair to you. There’s so much I don’t know. What about you? And us? Is there still an us?” I wonder, because something feels off between us and I don’t think it is only me.
Despite our initial reuniting, she’s been more elusive than normal.
I’m not surprised when her eyes avoid mine. “Ve are good.”
“What about what you want? Do you ever think about getting married or having kids someday?”
“What if you meet someone who wants those things with you? I just told you I don’t see myself doing either, but that doesn’t mean you can’t… I mean, my God, Hilda. What if someone came after you or-or anyone I love because of my words? Let alone an innocent child? I just can’t…”
“I don’t know, Bella.” A wave of sadness sweeps across her beautiful features when our eyes meet, then she looks away. “Ve all understand the risks ve take vith every story ve vrite.”
I shake my head. “I could be keeping you from meeting that perfect someone or pursuing your own wishes. Maybe we should let things cool off a bit before jumping back into anything.”
“You aren’t keeping me from anything. I live vithout regrets and you should too.”
“But if you—”
“You vill be the first one I tell. But Bella, I’m very happy vith what ve have. Nein changes.”
“Okay, if you’re sure.” I watch her carefully.
“I’m zure. Let’s go meet your dad.” She gives me a small smile, but it is less than reassuring as doubts fill my thoughts.